What Should I Do?

Yesterday my son and I went for a haircut. This is the first time we both needed one on the same day. I had prepped him for sitting in my lap, watching me get mine done and then moving on to his. This was not to be....

Let me say first of all that we have a FANTASTIC therapist who helped us desensitize G to the noise of the buzz clips. She used a vibration type toy to massage his head with during therapy (and this was as I offhandedly mentioned a hair cut at the beginning of his therapy session--Thank you Ms. Robyn, we love you!!) So G was ready for the clippers. He was not however, ready for the "hair cut lady"!

The salon was empty except for the two of us and two stylists. They were both nice and friendly but the one insisted on G coming in to her chair to get his hair cut at the same time the other stylist cut mine. She did win G over, and he went to her chair. (It was harder for me to supervise and therefore he has a much shorter cut that I prefer, but that's another story).

He began by telling her he did not like the hair dryer. She told him she wouldn't use it. A few minutes later, he told her again. "No hair dryer." She promised they wouldn't need it. She chatted with him and he actually did pretty well. He repeatedly insisted on having no hair dryer anywhere near him. Then she made a comment to me....

She compared my son to RainMan. You know the movie...Dustin Hoffman, Tom Cruise, the Autistic guy who repeats himself and is insistent on certain things.

Now I know she had no idea that G is Autistic. And I don't think she meant any harm by this remark. It just kind of got ground in when she couldn't remember exactly the line from the movie she was searching for to make her point, and she pondered it out loud over and over again.

What bothered me most was my reaction. Or lack of reaction. I politely smiled and tried to change the subject. I didn't make the comments that were rolling around in my mind like "Did you know that RainMan was Autistic and he was nervous to be out of his environment and he did a pretty darn good job making it cross country with some one he didn't really know? Did you know that my son is Autistic too and he is handling this all pretty well also especially considering you are talking about him like he isn't sitting right in front of you???" I didn't say that.

I didn't say, " How would you like it if some stranger squirted your head with water when water is one of the things you can't stand? How would you like it if someone kept telling you that she won't touch you with the hair dryer but you can see it sitting RIGHT THERE and you don't really know if it's ok to trust her?" I didn't say that either.

I also didn't tell her that G has made such amazing progress that the fact he is sitting here , talking to her, walked in on his own and is even alive to need a hair cut is a miracle. I didn't say any of those things.

I know I'm not supposed to unload on someone who makes a comment like that. Maybe it shouldn't even have bothered me, but it did. Did I let G down by not speaking up? Did I send the wrong message by not even acknowledging his Autism? I would love to hear other's thoughts on this. It's hard to know how to react sometimes or even if I am supposed to react.

So for now I'll pray about this. I need guidance. I will ask God to send me the words to say in those situations. And for the grace to love this woman...just as He has loved me.