Thoughts to Ponder

We've been snowed in for a couple of days now and I've been reading alot. I wanted to jot down a few things I've read lately so I don't forget the lessons God is showing me....

I'm reading "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. In this passage, she's talking about soul mates. It's such an incredible idea, I've quoted it here.

"..a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you , and then they leave. And thank God for it." That idea just blew me away. I know people are sent to us for a purpose but I've never had that particular perspective on it.

The next bit in the book astonished me even more...." If you clear out all that space in your mind that you're using right now to obsess about this guy, you'll have a vacuum there, an open spot- a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in- God will rush in- and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. " God will rush in. He won't leave the void there, He won't move slowly toward us, He won't delay, He will RUSH in. Isn't that what happens when we give our hearts and lives over to Him? He immediately comes into our hearts with a peace and love we cannot even comprehend.

The last thought I have for today is one given to me by the pastor of Sunday's service. He was talking about "El Shaddai" translating into "more than enough". Another way to think of it is "too much". God is not 'just enough' or 'plenty', He is too much God. So if there is problem that is too much for me, my God is too much for it. Meaning, He can literally overcome any obstacle, problem or trial because He is already too much for it. Wow. I love it when God shows me new ways to look at things. I've probably heard 'more than enough' in relation to God many times in my life. But something about the phrase 'too much' packs a punch with me.

Then the thought of that very same God, using a soul mate to scrub me clean, showing me parts of myself that I didn't know about, comes rushing in to fill a void in my heart with his love until it is over flowing because He is a God who will not leave any area of my life empty...well, the thought of it has me standing here with my mouth agape. I stand in awe of Him. Then I smile.

The Way He Works

All I can say is "Wow". The way He works always astounds me. I know I've written about my new job before but I just had to again.

When I was praying for a job, I had a list of criteria. It was pretty specific. The main thing was that it be a Christian environment for myself and my son. In my mind, there was a Christian school that I thought would be perfect. I still think it's an awesome school, just not the one God was sending us to. The school we joined is not Christian in nature, but the people there definitely are. I have never been welcomed so wholeheartedly. Meeting parents whose first inclination is not to shake you hand, but to hug you. Staff members whom you've only spoken to a handful of times, grab you up and ask how your first day was. I walked in the door feeling like this place was full of family.

God had the plan all along. It wasn't where I thought He was leading us, but boy am I glad He did. I know there will be challenges here, just like anywhere else but we are off to a great start. I am amazed at the way He works.

Thank you Father for showing me your love...in more ways than one.

What Should I Do?

Yesterday my son and I went for a haircut. This is the first time we both needed one on the same day. I had prepped him for sitting in my lap, watching me get mine done and then moving on to his. This was not to be....

Let me say first of all that we have a FANTASTIC therapist who helped us desensitize G to the noise of the buzz clips. She used a vibration type toy to massage his head with during therapy (and this was as I offhandedly mentioned a hair cut at the beginning of his therapy session--Thank you Ms. Robyn, we love you!!) So G was ready for the clippers. He was not however, ready for the "hair cut lady"!

The salon was empty except for the two of us and two stylists. They were both nice and friendly but the one insisted on G coming in to her chair to get his hair cut at the same time the other stylist cut mine. She did win G over, and he went to her chair. (It was harder for me to supervise and therefore he has a much shorter cut that I prefer, but that's another story).

He began by telling her he did not like the hair dryer. She told him she wouldn't use it. A few minutes later, he told her again. "No hair dryer." She promised they wouldn't need it. She chatted with him and he actually did pretty well. He repeatedly insisted on having no hair dryer anywhere near him. Then she made a comment to me....

She compared my son to RainMan. You know the movie...Dustin Hoffman, Tom Cruise, the Autistic guy who repeats himself and is insistent on certain things.

Now I know she had no idea that G is Autistic. And I don't think she meant any harm by this remark. It just kind of got ground in when she couldn't remember exactly the line from the movie she was searching for to make her point, and she pondered it out loud over and over again.

What bothered me most was my reaction. Or lack of reaction. I politely smiled and tried to change the subject. I didn't make the comments that were rolling around in my mind like "Did you know that RainMan was Autistic and he was nervous to be out of his environment and he did a pretty darn good job making it cross country with some one he didn't really know? Did you know that my son is Autistic too and he is handling this all pretty well also especially considering you are talking about him like he isn't sitting right in front of you???" I didn't say that.

I didn't say, " How would you like it if some stranger squirted your head with water when water is one of the things you can't stand? How would you like it if someone kept telling you that she won't touch you with the hair dryer but you can see it sitting RIGHT THERE and you don't really know if it's ok to trust her?" I didn't say that either.

I also didn't tell her that G has made such amazing progress that the fact he is sitting here , talking to her, walked in on his own and is even alive to need a hair cut is a miracle. I didn't say any of those things.

I know I'm not supposed to unload on someone who makes a comment like that. Maybe it shouldn't even have bothered me, but it did. Did I let G down by not speaking up? Did I send the wrong message by not even acknowledging his Autism? I would love to hear other's thoughts on this. It's hard to know how to react sometimes or even if I am supposed to react.

So for now I'll pray about this. I need guidance. I will ask God to send me the words to say in those situations. And for the grace to love this woman...just as He has loved me.