Yesterday

Yesterday was probably one of the hardest days of my life. I had meeting after meeting, each of which was worse than the last. I had to hear someone tell me a list of things I'd done wrong. I heard complaints about the way I do things. It made me mad, but also sad.

But the worst part of the day was letting my friends down. I had to tell not only one, but several, that I couldn't follow through on a promise I had made. This promise affected my life and theirs too. It was tough. I felt like I had let them all down.

I am not a person to make promises lightly. I try my very best to follow through on what I say I will do. Now in this situation, it wasn't something that I could help. It was just the situation we are in. But it didn't make me feel any better. I wanted to fix this situation for them, to be able to do for them what I had originally promised.

Fixing things...that's one thing that God deals with me on all the time. I have a hard time letting go and giving it over to God. I want to do what I can. I want to do more than I can. I just want to make everything okay for everyone. God kept trying to tell me that He is in charge and that He take care of everything. At the end of the day yesterday, He took all other options out of my hands. I just have to wait on Him.

While I was mindlessly looking at FaceBook last night, a friend's post hit home. "The Bible never once says 'figure it out,' but over and over again it says 'Trust God'. He's already got it all figured out."  Talk about a punch in the gut. How much clearer could it be?

So I've apologized to God for trying to do His job. I'm praying for this situation but am ultimately waiting on his decision in His timing. I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father that knows what's best for me and will stop me in my tracks when I won't listen.