I'm tired

I'm tired. This has been a very busy season in my life. I've prepared parent/teacher conference notes. I've tagged many, many items for a local consignment sale. I've readied my classroom for International Night while at the same time getting my son ready for his class version.

We left school yesterday for a brief break (it was too far to drive home and back) . He chose dinner at Waffle House. Odd, but surprisingly fantastic since we were the only diners there. It was quiet. We had time to talk and relax, just the two of us before we headed back to the chaos of school. He was precious, excited to be singing his song (for the record, his class studied Antarctica and his teacher re-wrote the lyrics to 'Ice Ice Baby'....how cute!!!) He was looking forward to showing his projects off to me, Nana and Papa.

We finished dinner and headed back to school where he dressed, I dressed (my class was studying Swaziland) and we put the finishing touches on my room. He was the perfect gentleman, helping and following directions beautifully. Nana and Papa arrived and he escorted them to his classroom to get a seat. The students and parents from all the classes arrived and were soon milling around, putting on outfits and generally anxious to start.

My son's class was the first presentation of the evening. I made an announcement to my class as to where to find all they needed, the layout of the evening and that I was stepping over to see G's performance and would be back soon. I kept a careful eye on the clock, grabbed my video camera and walked across the hall to the sound of clapping..........I had missed it. The whole thing. My baby's first ever performance in his school career and I didn't see a single second of it.

It took all I had not to break down in tears. Turns out, the clock in my classroom was slow, the teacher started right on time, and the song was pretty short. I missed it all.

Can I even begin to describe how disappointed I am? We got a few still pictures but nothing to truly capture the movements and voices of G and his friends during the song.

My family came over to my class later on to watch us take our turn. I looked into the audience and saw G's concentration as he watched the students sing and dance. After it was over, he ran to give me a hug and told me he loved me. He went home with Nana and Papa while I stayed to clean up.

I'm not sure that G even realized that I missed his show. With all of the people there, I'm not sure he could even see his grandparents in the audience. But I knew it. It hurts my heart. I missed it. I missed it.