Thankfulness

I've been dealing a lot with how to praise God when things are rough. I know the Bible commands us to praise, but I sometimes feel like a hypocrite doing it. After all, I'm not thankful for the situation I'm facing. I can't see any good reason for it. So I did all I know to do...I prayed and asked God to show me. He did (doesn't He always??). He showed me in the form of blog I read from Chosenfamilies.org.

Trauma or Thanks

January 21, 2011 By Joan 1 Comment

“…in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” I Thess 5:18

I was trying to figure out how to survive the highly emotional encounters with the bipolar loved ones in my life. Right In That Moment – what do I DO? One counselor (and yes, I have needed counselors) told me to give thanks…as in “give thanks in all things, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

I teethed on the pews, so I knew that verse, but frankly, not to be disrespectful or anything, I could NOT figure out how to give thanks in those moments. Finally, after many years, and at the risk of being hit by lightening or something, I emotionally pushed back. “Really? Am I supposed to say, ‘Thank you Jesus they are yelling at me right now?…or thank You they are so low they literally cannot face the day, or their responsibilities?…or I just can’t thank You enough that their emotions are so magnified they literally can’t tell they are wearing me out or squashing me like a bug??’” I felt that not only were they expecting too much out of me, but so was God.

I praise God for that counselor now. I get it. And it literally turns the tide for me emotionally so I do not “lose” radio contact with God as quickly. It’s been a shield, a strength, a solace. Probably not new to you, but since that day, my “thank-you” now sound something like these…

–as my bipolar loved one vents all his/her emotions towards me….
Jesus, I thank You that You know this is too much for me. Thank You for not telling me everything You feel! Thank You for only telling me what is for my good. Thank you for always keeping in mind that I am dust.

–as my bipolar loved one blames me for not making it “all better”…
Jesus, I thank You that YOU know I can’t fix this. All might and power rest with YOU, not me. Thank You that in every way necessary You made it “all better” on the Cross, giving hope that when I get to heaven it WILL be all better!

–as my bipolar loved one exhausts me emotionally…
Jesus, thank You that You are not bipolar. I don’t have to shield myself emotionally from You, because You always keep in mind how I am made. Thank you for specifically inviting me to come TO You when I am weary and heavy laden, and thank you for giving me rest. Thank you for being the kind of God that leads at a pace suited for women and children. (Not bipolar speeds.)

–as my bipolar one expects me to understand what he/she is thinking, and sort it out…
Jesus, I am thanking You right now that YOU understand what he/she is thinking. You understand his/her thought from far away, even before he/she say it. Thank You for having a mind big enough to wrap around all this. I am not omniscient and You know it. Thank you.

–as my bipolar loved one makes a mountain out of a molehill…
Jesus, thank You that You never exaggerate, minimize, or distort what it true. You are precise, true, dependable.

–when my bipolar loved one is all over the map…
Thank you Jesus for being the SAME. Yesterday, today, and forever. Thank you that when You make a decision towards me (to listen, love, forgive, understand) You do not change Your mind later.

There are many more…and if YOU have more to add, I’d love to hear them. Truthful thanksgiving is a life raft…

Thankfully,

Joan

Thank you Joan for posting from your heart. It has made all the difference in my life. And thank You Lord, for showing me the way!