One of those days

Today has not been one of my better days. My little guy woke up feeling bad and couldn't go to school. He's got a bit of a fever, some coughing, working his way into breathing treatments...regular kid illnesses. Just no fun for him or mom. So he stayed home with Nana and Pop while I went to work.

While at work today, one of our dearest families told us they are moving away soon. The child is such a sweetheart and loved by us all. It took her some time to warm up to us but since she has, it just feels empty at the thought of not seeing her each day. And her parents...they are some of our biggest cheerleaders. They are a couple who has given us unending support from the beginning. It is really rare to find such folks like these.

Then I had a meeting today in which I find out some details about another child's home life. It's not pretty. I had some suspicions about his family and the more details I learned, the more the pieces of the puzzle clicked in my head...and that is not the click you want to hear.

Last night we had an Open House in which no one came. Not one person.  We advertised, we talked it up, we shared it with anyone who would listen. Not one bite.

So here I am today, with a heavy heart and feeling sorry for myself, wondering what I did wrong. How does this thing that is my absolute dream turn to feel like such a burden? How did I go from getting my dream career to wondering if we can make it through another year?

My friend and partner in the business said to me today simply, "It's the devil." I know that the enemy fights harder against you when you are doing something right...I know. I believe that God brought us here, even for days like today, for a reason. Another friend reminded me of that just last night. He has a purpose for us. Really, I believe it. Some days it's just harder to fight the fight than others.

Tonight I was greeted with a huge hug from my sweet boy, a great dinner from my mom, and then a big cry alone in my room. My burdens feel heavy, but tomorrow I will get up again, dust myself off and arm myself with much prayer. I will walk into school with a smile on my face, a hug for the hurting child and hope in my heart. I know God will sustain all of us, intertwined in this journey. I'm going to try my best to leave these hard days at the foot of the cross.