Yesterday I had a very informative meeting. I won't bore you with the details, but the lady I met with helped me more in one hour than others have helped me with in weeks. She answered questions for me and helped me understand situations I was unsure of. She gave me hard truths but advise that gave me a lot to think about.
While that sounds like good news, and in many ways it is, the ultimate information is a very hard pill to swallow. It wasn't what I had hoped to hear. I expected some closure, some ultimate change to happen as a result. That wasn't how I left the meeting. I left with a long 'to do' list. I left with much to ponder. I left laughing. I found myself pulling out of the parking lot actually laughing. God had done it again.
God had turned my situation into one that only He can fix. Only He can rectify this. Only God. He does this to me often and you'd think I would be used to it by now. He lets me try to fix things, because I continue to think I can, until I finally realize that it is only His power that will change things.
God lets me spin my wheels. He lets me work and search and try my hardest. I don't think He does it to be mean. He does it to prove to me that in my power, I can't do it. He allows it so I can lean on Him..so I can lean into Him.
While the situation my family is in is definitely not easy, I am grateful for the way God has used it. I literally felt the weight lift off my shoulders when I realized that it was God's battle, not mine. I can't do it, but He can!
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