Thankfulness

I've been dealing a lot with how to praise God when things are rough. I know the Bible commands us to praise, but I sometimes feel like a hypocrite doing it. After all, I'm not thankful for the situation I'm facing. I can't see any good reason for it. So I did all I know to do...I prayed and asked God to show me. He did (doesn't He always??). He showed me in the form of blog I read from Chosenfamilies.org.

Trauma or Thanks

January 21, 2011 By Joan 1 Comment

“…in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” I Thess 5:18

I was trying to figure out how to survive the highly emotional encounters with the bipolar loved ones in my life. Right In That Moment – what do I DO? One counselor (and yes, I have needed counselors) told me to give thanks…as in “give thanks in all things, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

I teethed on the pews, so I knew that verse, but frankly, not to be disrespectful or anything, I could NOT figure out how to give thanks in those moments. Finally, after many years, and at the risk of being hit by lightening or something, I emotionally pushed back. “Really? Am I supposed to say, ‘Thank you Jesus they are yelling at me right now?…or thank You they are so low they literally cannot face the day, or their responsibilities?…or I just can’t thank You enough that their emotions are so magnified they literally can’t tell they are wearing me out or squashing me like a bug??’” I felt that not only were they expecting too much out of me, but so was God.

I praise God for that counselor now. I get it. And it literally turns the tide for me emotionally so I do not “lose” radio contact with God as quickly. It’s been a shield, a strength, a solace. Probably not new to you, but since that day, my “thank-you” now sound something like these…

–as my bipolar loved one vents all his/her emotions towards me….
Jesus, I thank You that You know this is too much for me. Thank You for not telling me everything You feel! Thank You for only telling me what is for my good. Thank you for always keeping in mind that I am dust.

–as my bipolar loved one blames me for not making it “all better”…
Jesus, I thank You that YOU know I can’t fix this. All might and power rest with YOU, not me. Thank You that in every way necessary You made it “all better” on the Cross, giving hope that when I get to heaven it WILL be all better!

–as my bipolar loved one exhausts me emotionally…
Jesus, thank You that You are not bipolar. I don’t have to shield myself emotionally from You, because You always keep in mind how I am made. Thank you for specifically inviting me to come TO You when I am weary and heavy laden, and thank you for giving me rest. Thank you for being the kind of God that leads at a pace suited for women and children. (Not bipolar speeds.)

–as my bipolar one expects me to understand what he/she is thinking, and sort it out…
Jesus, I am thanking You right now that YOU understand what he/she is thinking. You understand his/her thought from far away, even before he/she say it. Thank You for having a mind big enough to wrap around all this. I am not omniscient and You know it. Thank you.

–as my bipolar loved one makes a mountain out of a molehill…
Jesus, thank You that You never exaggerate, minimize, or distort what it true. You are precise, true, dependable.

–when my bipolar loved one is all over the map…
Thank you Jesus for being the SAME. Yesterday, today, and forever. Thank you that when You make a decision towards me (to listen, love, forgive, understand) You do not change Your mind later.

There are many more…and if YOU have more to add, I’d love to hear them. Truthful thanksgiving is a life raft…

Thankfully,

Joan

Thank you Joan for posting from your heart. It has made all the difference in my life. And thank You Lord, for showing me the way!

Floods

I read bits and pieces of lots of blogs. Some are spiritual in nature, some pertain to children with challenges, some are just mixes of everyday life. One blog I read lately came from Chosenfamilies.org and the particular piece that struck my heart was written by a woman named Joan.

"The Lord saw this flood coming, and He did not prevent it. But by faith I believe He sat down as King over it." I sometimes picture God as so busy with things that it takes Him until the last minute to swoop in on our lives and stop the bad things from happening. That's my warped sense of an omnipotent God. It's easier to think of Him being so busy that He can't get to me right away or as the 'superman' type who will come just in the nick of time. But it's a harsh truth to realize that He is omnipotent. He does see the flood coming. He knows it before we do. He knows the issues it will cause us, and yet He doesn't always prevent it. My heart aches knowing that my God who loves me and CAN prevent the hurt chooses NOT to prevent the hurt in my life. I struggle with this idea often.

But like the next sentence in Joan's blog, I believe by faith that He is king over it. He allows us only what we can handle. He refines us in that flood, that pain, that trial. It is definitely no fun but He knows that too. He loves us through all of that. I am then reminded of one of my favorite songs, Still (by Reuben Morgan).

Hide me now, under your wings

Cover me within Your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar

I will soar with you above the storm.

Father You are King over the flood

I will be still and know You are God.

Find rest my soul

In Christ alone

Know His power

In quietness and trust

When the oceans rise and thunders roar

I will soar with you above the storm.

Father You are King over the flood

I will be still and know You are God.

Thank you Father for your love in the midst of the flood. And for giving me the blue prints to build an arc.

Driving in the Tracks

This week in our town, in our half of the state for that matter, we've had a record amount of snow and ice. The reading from our own backyard was 5 inches but I know some areas had more than that. On top of that beautiful snow was about a half inch of ice. We were out of school for 4 days before the private school where I teach decided it was time to try its hand at opening the doors.

We were opening at 10:00 instead of the usual 7 am time so that was helpful for those of us traveling in the still icy conditions. I left my little man home with his Nana, still fearful that the commute wouldn't be an easy one for our 45+ minute ride in.

Most of the major roads were fine to travel but the secondary streets were a nightmare. Sheets of ice still coated the road and cars moved much too fast for my taste. On several roads, there was a path to follow where other cars had previously traveled. If you stayed on the path they had laid out, it was smooth travels but if you shifted over to the right or the left, you could wind up sliding and skidding.

Of course as I was "white knuckle" driving the whole way to work, God chose this time to teach me a lesson. ( He sneaks up on me sometimes....although I shouldn't have been surprised, I was talking to Him the whole time!!) He impressed upon me that the lane I was traveling was a metaphor for life. He has laid out a path for me. All I have to do is stay on it. No veering to the right or left or I'd end up in trouble.

I was reminded of the temptations also. The temptation to pull out of the lane to get a closer look at something that looked beautiful from afar. The temptation to pull over just to stop and take a rest. The temptation to go as fast as others were..just to follow the crowd because it's what "everyone" else was doing. God them reminded me of how hard it is to get back on the path once you've been off of it. Tires spin, cars slide, sometimes you travel inches , sometimes you are just plain stuck. After it is all over with, it makes you wonder why you ever decided to get off the path to begin with.

Thank you Lord for providing me with the path you've laid out for me. Please give me eyes to see where you intend for me to travel, wisdom to stay on the path and strength for the journey.

Thoughts to Ponder

We've been snowed in for a couple of days now and I've been reading alot. I wanted to jot down a few things I've read lately so I don't forget the lessons God is showing me....

I'm reading "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. In this passage, she's talking about soul mates. It's such an incredible idea, I've quoted it here.

"..a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you , and then they leave. And thank God for it." That idea just blew me away. I know people are sent to us for a purpose but I've never had that particular perspective on it.

The next bit in the book astonished me even more...." If you clear out all that space in your mind that you're using right now to obsess about this guy, you'll have a vacuum there, an open spot- a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in- God will rush in- and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. " God will rush in. He won't leave the void there, He won't move slowly toward us, He won't delay, He will RUSH in. Isn't that what happens when we give our hearts and lives over to Him? He immediately comes into our hearts with a peace and love we cannot even comprehend.

The last thought I have for today is one given to me by the pastor of Sunday's service. He was talking about "El Shaddai" translating into "more than enough". Another way to think of it is "too much". God is not 'just enough' or 'plenty', He is too much God. So if there is problem that is too much for me, my God is too much for it. Meaning, He can literally overcome any obstacle, problem or trial because He is already too much for it. Wow. I love it when God shows me new ways to look at things. I've probably heard 'more than enough' in relation to God many times in my life. But something about the phrase 'too much' packs a punch with me.

Then the thought of that very same God, using a soul mate to scrub me clean, showing me parts of myself that I didn't know about, comes rushing in to fill a void in my heart with his love until it is over flowing because He is a God who will not leave any area of my life empty...well, the thought of it has me standing here with my mouth agape. I stand in awe of Him. Then I smile.