Part of the Club

Last week we met some friends for dinner. We had a fantastic time...the kids playing, the adults chatting. We got to catch up on who-did-what and where-are-they-now sort of things. The children hadn't met before and although they were of various ages, they seemed to enjoy each other's company.

One of the other children has Autism, just like my son. As moms, we compared notes on development and Autism-isms. I took comfort in the fact that her child was older than mine, and they had survived and thrived in areas that we too are now facing.

As we traveled home, I was thinking about being part of this "Autism Club". As I prayed that night, I found myself once again so sad at this thought. I don't think it is fair for a child...mine or hers or any child at all...to have Autism. I don't want my son to be part of this club. I don't want her child to be part of this club. I questioned God, I begged God, I cried out to God to change this. I gave God all kinds of ways that would work...as if He (God Almighty, Creator of the Universe) needed my help!

This Sunday as the pastor preached his message he made a point that stuck with me. We often try in our own strength to fix things. When that doesn't work, we tell God how to fix it. It is not our job to do this, only to believe that He is God and He has our best interest at heart. If we are truly His followers and are striving to live a life that is pleasing to Him, we have to believe in His sovereignty.

It's hard for me, I admit it. I am wired to lay out a plan, follow the path and see the end result turn out to be exactly what I expected. It's really hard for me when that doesn't happen. But I am reminded that if God knows the number of hairs on my head, He is very aware of everything else that is in my life . Not only is He aware of it, but none of it has been a surprise to Him. He has allowed things to happen that ultimately show His glory. It is His plan. It is His path. It is His end result. It is all for Him.

My head swims at the thought of my Father carefully planning out my life, my son's life, my friend's life...from beginning to end. It amazes me. I am in awe. And I can let go of my own plan because I know the one my Lord has for me it so much better than anything I can ever imagine. Thank you God for this reminder.