It's been a fantastic summer so far. We've taken a vacation to the beach, only worked minimally and spent time at the pool. There are lots of things I need to accomplish before school starts back in just about a month, but I find myself putting it on the back burner. I've found myself sucked into Pinterest ,reading novels and FaceBook, probably way more than is healthy. I've told myself that I needed the break, even earned the break. After all, I'm a busy person.
While it's true, I deserve some time to myself, I've found myself pulling away from the real world that is right in front of me. I haven't lived in the moment nearly enough. I realized yesterday that I have missed 'being there' with my fabulous son even while he is in the same room. Then last night, I read this blog post...http://vitafamiliae.com/what-i-learned-on-my-summer-vacation/. Boy, did I cry!
I realized how ungrateful I'd become. I thought back to the time G was in the NICU and how I prayed for his very survival. For the last 7 years, I'd been asking God to rid us of a horrible situation. I've always had the dream of owning my own school. I've asked God to allow me to love again, and to be loved in return. God has been faithful to answer each and every prayer I've ever prayed. He has given me my heart's desire and I have spent the summer like every day was common, instead of the absolute miracle it is.
I stayed up into the wee hours of the morning pouring out my heart to Him and confessing my guilt. I thanked him for every single thing I could think of. I didn't even know the weight I had been carrying until it had lifted and I had a clear view of my life. God has been so faithful, even when I couldn't see it. He has carried me, provided for me, pushed me some and even drug me along kicking and screaming...but on the other side, I feel nothing but gratitude. He has given me everything I have prayed for.
As I finally fell asleep, I was at peace. And so very grateful for it all!
